


Flesh And Bone

by jvnsen



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Episode: s02e20 Beside Still Water, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Spoilers for S02E20, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 13:24:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11806857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jvnsen/pseuds/jvnsen
Summary: Everything is okay.Valentine is dead, Jace is alive, and Magnus forgave him.Everything is okay. Right?





	Flesh And Bone

Alec feels good, for the first time in a long time.  

Everything is okay. Valentine is dead, Jace is alive, and Magnus forgave him. There's no imminent threat hanging over their heads, and with Magnus looking at him like  _that_  again, with affection in his eyes instead of distrust, he feels like he can finally breathe again. 

He goes home with Magnus, both of them sneaking away from the party. He can't remember when they finally fell asleep, but he does remember drifting off, with Magnus' arm around him, feeling content. 

And then suddenly, he's screaming. He doesn't know if it was hearing his own loud screams that woke him or just the nightmare itself, but it takes him a few seconds after waking to actually  _stop_.  

He's sweating and the sheets are completely tangled in his legs, and suddenly he feels claustrophobic, like he needs to get out now or something bad is going to happen. 

He grabs at the sheets, and they're taking too long to untwist, his panic making it even more difficult, every second feeling like minutes, until he feels Magnus' hand touching his wrist. 

"It's okay, Alexander. Calm down, it's okay." 

"No, I, I need to get out of here, I'm stuck, I can't get these fucking -" 

"I'll get them. Okay? I'll untangle them and you can get up and you'll be fine. Just let me, okay?"  

Alec nods, clenching his hands and taking a deep breath. Magnus quickly gets the sheets off of him, and he runs to the bathroom, not even knowing that he feels the need to throw up until he does.  

Magnus is behind him in a few seconds, rubbing his back. As soon as Alec turns away from the toilet, Magnus is helping him up, leading him into the living room and sitting them both on the couch. 

Magnus grabs the blanket that's folded up on the couch, wrapping it around Alec's shoulders. "This okay?" 

"Yeah." Alec's voice comes out sound hoarse, and he clears his throat before continuing. "You can go back to bed. I'm fine."  

"Alexander, not to point out the obvious, but you don't look fine right now." 

"It was just, um- I dreamt about Jace. Him – dying. I could feel it. I could feel the pain he felt, and when he took his last breath and -." He stops, choking up. He's staring at the table in front of him, but it's fuzzy, and he doesn't want to be crying but a tear falls down his face anyway. Even now, he can  _feel_  Jace dying, like a phantom pain. Or maybe - 

"What, what if he's hurt again? I can feel it. I can feel – what if he got hurt again, Magnus? I have to go, I have to go see that he's okay, he could be in trouble, I -." He gets up, the blanket falling to the couch, but Magnus grabs his arm to stop him before he can even move a step. 

"I'm sure he's fine, Alec. But we can call him, okay? Before you rush out of here, why don't we just call and check that he's alright? If he doesn't answer, then we can go." 

"Yeah, I guess that's okay. Can you – where's my phone?" Alec starts feeling frantic again, everything is taking too much  _time_ , and then Magnus is holding his phone in front of his face.  

Alec grabs it, sitting down heavily on the couch. His most recent phone call was an outgoing call to Jace, so he clicks on that and listens to the ringing, waiting. Four rings go by, and then finally, Jace answers. 

"Alec? What are you calling me for? I thought you were with Magnus." 

"I – yeah. I'm with him. I was just, uh, calling to see that you were okay. Um, after everything." Alec laughs, but it sounds hollow to his own ears. "It was a crazy day." 

"I'm fine. I'm just at the Institute. I'm just going to try to catch up on all the sleep I've missed in the past few months." Jace pauses. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" 

"Sure. See you." 

Alec hangs up, and suddenly he feels exhausted. The adrenaline is leaving his body, and he feels foolish for making such a big deal when of course Jace was fine. 

"See, Alec? He's okay. We're all okay." 

"Yeah, I don't – I don't know why I freaked out. It was stupid." 

Magnus takes Alec's hand, squeezing it. "It wasn't stupid. Jace might be okay now but... what happened to you, it was traumatic. You felt not only your brother, but a part of  _you_  die. I wouldn't expect you to just be fine after that." 

Alec nods, closing his eyes. "I'm just - I'm too tired to think right now." 

Magnus stands up, still holding onto Alec's hand. "Let's get you to bed." 

They both go into Magnus' room, and with a snap of his fingers, the sheets are changed and the bed is made. Alec gets in, with Magnus climbing in behind him, and Magnus lays right behind him, his hand on Alec's hip. "Tell me if you feel claustrophobic or anything, alright?" 

"Thank you, Magnus. For... putting up with this. You didn't have to. Especially when you didn't even want to be near me earlier today." 

"I'll always be here, Alexander. No matter what." 

Magnus leans over to kiss his forehead, and even though the memory of his nightmare is still lurking at the corners of his mind, he falls asleep, too tired to keep his eyes open.

**Author's Note:**

> neilljosten.tumblr.com


End file.
